take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
