i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
