i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
