I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
