sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
