I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
