We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
