we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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