He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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