it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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