I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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