This girl is more easily done than said...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you win again, gameday.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
