At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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