Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
