i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
