Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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