During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
