OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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