I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
