I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
