I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
