Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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