Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
