The beer is more important than you right now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
