Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
