i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
