somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
