i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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