do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
