My room smells like vodka and shame
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize