He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
