They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
