He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this will be a night to untag.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
