so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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