similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize