why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
