should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
