dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize