She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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