I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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