Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
