I just made out with a guy for $7.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
