She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
