Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
