Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm bleeding and have questions
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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