Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just google imaged poop.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
