i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
