Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We're too hungover to prance.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
