plz talk dirty to me
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
