Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
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