I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize