Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
