Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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