She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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