So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
