can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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