My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize