You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
