i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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