Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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