he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
