hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
