Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
