Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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