ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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